Misaki Bankai [item reg]

Spoiler:

Name: Hiroaki [Wide Spacious Light]
Type: War Fan
Rank: A
Upgrade Slots:

Affinities: (Kōton - 光遁)

Description: A Gunbai (軍配, Gunbai, Literally meaning: army arrangement) is a non-folding fan, carved from an unique spirit sacred tree, this Gunbai is a honorary item, passed down from previous Misaki clansmen generations. It is a wide fan with tomoe on it and has a long handle with bandages wrapped around the base, as well as having a long chain attached to it. Attached to this chain is a kama that has the slicing ability to slice through stone.  the entire length of the gunbai, handle included, chain and kama excluded is six feet in length and at the wider parts its measurement is 4 feet in width and the narrower part on the gunbai is 3 feet in width. its thickness is two inches.

Enhancements: Enhancements: Enhancement 1: The Gunbai's shield has the ability to block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind. Taijutsu and ninjutsu are blocked normally. If however any chakra is present in the attack, the chakra of the attack is also diffused. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. The tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu, and two A ranked jutsu before the shield breaks down. When this happens, the Gunbai can no longer diffuse the chakra within attacks and can only be used as a normal shield for physical attacks. Chakra cost is based on double the amount of a jutsu activation per rank. This can only be activated once per post.
Chakra Cost: For D rank: 20 chakra, C rank: 30 chakra, B rank: 40 chakra, A rank: 50 chakra per trigger.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.


Enhancement 2: Enhancement 2: The Gunbai is durable enough to smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, or can dish out Blunt force Damage: Guaranteed broken bones/ribs, massive bruising, internal bleeding, dislocation of large joints (Shoulders, etc), amputation of smaller joins (fingers/toes, possibly elbows or ankles) with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to the exposed areas of their bodies. Being an A ranked weapon, giving A ranked attacks, armor an opponent may have that is under A rank would not hinder the attacks coming from this weapon. As for the area that is affected, the opponent is struck with an arch shaped beam of light. If the opponent is struck by the attack, they will be hit by a ten foot long three inch wide light beam. The same length and thickness of the beam will appear as a dark scar on the opponent's body based on battle conditions. Only up to 50% of their body that is facing the attack will be affected. But they will always be the same size. Marks will be left on the opponent of the same size as the beams if it is not healed.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.


Enhancement 3: This enhancement is purely as a defensive mechanism not for offense. If an attempt was made to touch the fan, by holding onto the Gunbai or the chain or kama, the Gunbai will instinctively detect a foreign chakra signature and draw large amounts of chakra from the one who holds it. This drain would not activate if the opponent tries to block attacks from the weapon itself. It drains 50 Chakra per post, until the person passes out from exhaustion due to the heavy chakra drain. The purpose is simply to stop anyone from using the Gunbai but its user. Works only if an opponent touches the weapon. The Gunbai does not have the ability to draw every drop of chakra from a person and leaves 1 chakra within them to keep them alive but barely and long enough to get treatment.
Amount of chakra drained per post: 50
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Okay, you can use JUTSU up to S-rank as a B-rank ninja/soldier. Weapons are locked to, at the most, one ran above your own.

I need sizes for this weapon. How large is the gunbai itself? Length of the attaching chain? Size of the kama?

How much of a defense is this fuuin-wind shield? What happens to the absorbed chakra?

made some changes. please let me know if i did anything wrong

Quote :

his gunbai has the ability by means of sealing jutsu to be used as a shield by converting incoming chakra into Wind nature transformation reflecting an opponent's attack back towards them. The wind chakra that is generated from deflecting oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing. The Gunbai however can generate wind gusts when the user swings it in battle. Must have more than 50 strength more than the user to withstand the blast. The Gunbai can smash through materials like tree roots and sealing jutsu has made it close to being indestructible due to its great barrier abilities that can stop attacks one rank above its user. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create a defense from the fan or one that he can release a concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan.

Okay, the attack return: that needs to be a jutsu that you use in conjunction with this item. Same for the generating wind gusts as attacks. That much either be a jutsu, OR you need to make it a separate enhancement and give the damage it can cause as well as a chakra cost for it.

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Must have more than 50 strength more than the user to withstand the blast.

This make zero sense. You can't even have 50 points in strength, nor are they numerically ranked. Do you mean Chakra? Or something else?

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The Gunbai can smash through materials like tree roots and sealing jutsu has made it close to being indestructible due to its great barrier abilities that can stop attacks one rank above its user.

This is a separate enhancement. I need details of how this works and what it costs to use.

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Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create a defense from the fan or one that he can release a concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan.

This is just talking about using jutsu with the fan, it's not an enhancement.


Each individual ability of an item is it's own enhancement, and needs to be written as such. Combat abilities need to basically be written the same way you would the description of a jutsu, with the chakra cost for using the ability added in.

Lastly, you gave me the size and such for the Gunbai, but what about the kama?

made some changes. lemme know what else.

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Its dimensions are 6' in length x 4' in width at the wide parts and three feet wide for the narrower parts.

I... am I reading this right How can something be 6inx4in at it's widest point, but then be 3ft wide at the narrow point?

Quote :

Enhancement 1: This gunbai has the ability by means of sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle that can block jutsu attacks by converting incoming chakra from an opponent that is one rank above the user into Wind nature transformation reflecting an opponent's attack back towards them. This applies to taijutsu and kenjutsu as well. The wind chakra that is generated from deflecting oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. The Gunbai however can generate wind gusts when the user swings it in battle. Must have more than a tier in strength more than the user to withstand the blast.

You can't defend against attacks of higher rank like that. You can reduce the damage, but they will break the shield. The wind gusts is a separate enhancement.

Quote :

The Gunbai is durable enough and can smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. If the opponent is a tier of strength higher than the user they will withstand the attack and simply get first degree burns if they are hit. If they are lower than the user the opponent will receive 2nd degree burns on their body if they are hit.

This.. makes almost no sense overall. How does the strength stat work here? Strength would have no effect on how powerful a Light tech would be in the case. If anything, the Endurance stat would be used here, and the set rules for how endurance effects jutsu damage is set in the guide and cannot be changed.

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Enhancement 3: As a defensive mechanism, if an attempt was made to touch the fan, the target's chakra will be sucked into the Gunbai making anyone who touches it helpless and weak.

I'm not against this enhancement per say, I just need you to explain exactly how much chakra is absorbed. It has to be a set number, and if it's too large you're going to end up causing the gunbai to shatter if it's triggered.

Yea made the changes you suggested.

Okay Ban, I'mma need you to do something for me before we can continue this.

Remove EVERYTHING that's NOT part of the item itself from the post with the item in it. That post is for nothing but the items being apped at the moment. Please keep the notes and replies to questions and stuff the staff asks in different posts.

Secondly, please try to understand what we're telling you to do. Case in point: when I asked you to set how much chakra the gunbai can absorb via that defensive enhancement, I meant for you to set a number. What you have now with it turning to dust when the wrong person touches it doesn't mean what you want it to mean. What it means as written is that the Gunbai turns to dust and doesn't come back. IE: You just lost the weapon the same as if it was destroyed in battle beyond repair. You basically just wasted all that time and ryo the moment someone that isn't you touches it.

You have to be very clear with what you want the enhancements to be. When I say something like "write the enhancement like the description of a jutsu', that's exactly what I'm asking. You write it up like you where writing the description to a custom jutsu; with range and a chakra cost included if it's a chakra based ability/has a range to it outside of the item itself.

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((((Yes the entire length of the gunbai, handle included, chain and kama excluded is six feet in length and at the wider parts its measurement is 4 feet in width and the narrower part on the gunbai is 3 feet in width. its thickness is two inches))))

Okay. So I see this, I understand this. The problem is, your item description still reads

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Its dimensions are 6' in length x 4' in width at the wide parts and three feet wide for the narrower parts.

It was never changed. Please fix this.

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This gunbai has the ability by means of sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle that can block jutsu attacks by converting incoming chakra from an opponentto the user into Wind nature transformation reflecting an opponent's attack back towards them. This applies to taijutsu and kenjutsu as well. The wind chakra that is generated from deflecting oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. If it is a higher ranked attack the shield will be able to broken with two higher ranked attacks.

This is still two enhancements. The shield is one, the reflect is a second. How much damage can be blocked. I need numbers by rank. Because of the rank of the item, I can allow you to totally negate all D-rank attacks and abilities, but enough C, B, and A rank attacks will break this. I need numbers.

How does the redirect/reflect work? Is it just the same jutsu sent back to the original user? How does this work for physical attacks?

Quote :

Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. Normal jutsu damage applies however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive and degree burns to their skin.

You're getting closer, you just need to clean this up. What level of burns? What is the equivalent rank of this attack? How much chakra does it cost? If this is talking about using your Light chakra for the attack, what is the 'normal jutsu damage' part referencing, since not half a sentence later you're talking about light chakra damage again.

And I've already referenced the last enhancement above.


You need to do a general clean up to the entire item. You have a lot of bad grammar that is highly confusing, and you're either missing parts of sentences, or missing spaces, or other small things that while on their own aren't a huge issue, are compounding to make this a very hard item to read.

made some changes. let me know what else

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Affinities: Light since he uses the Gunbai to chanel light chakra attacks and create shields

Just Light. If you wanna get fancy, copy out the Romaji and Kangi from the release page so that it would show as Light (Romaji -Kanji).

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This gunbai has the ability by means of powerful sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle that can block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind nature transformation same for for taijutsu and ninjutsu they are blocked normally and if any chakra is present in the attack it is also diffused into harmless wind. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. However tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu and two A ranked jutsu before being broken down. This shield cannot deflect any attacks it is solely for blocking attacks.
Chakra Cost: 50 chakra per turn that shield is activated.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.

This is getting better. You have a massive run-on sentence that's really hard to read and figure out that you need to fix. This wouldn't be a turn base chakra drain. It would proc each time you block a hit. That's the problem with a shield like this; unless you give up a chunk of chakra permanently to keep the shield running at all times, it's going to get extremely chakra taxing to use the way you want. In this case, you'd be paying double the cost of the jutsu that you block; so anywhere from 20 to over 100 chakra per time this shield is used depending on the jutsu, because some jutsu cost far more than the base amount to use.

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The Gunbai is durable enough and can smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to their skin.
Chakra Cost: 80 chakra per attack released.

One major thing. A-rank jutsu base cost is 25 chakra. You are seriously overestimating how much chakra stuff requires. How powerful of a slicing/concussive attack is this? 2nd degree burns over how much area around impact site?

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This enhancement is purely as a defensive mechanism not for offense. If an attempt was made to touch the fan, the Gunbai will instinctively draw large amounts of chakra from the one who holds it. 100 Chakra per post, until the person passes out from exhaustion due to the heavy chakra drain. The chakra that was drawn from the opponent can be used only to strengthen the defensive shield The purpose is simply to stop anyone from using the Gunbai but its user. Works only if an opponent touches the weapon. The chakra once drained from an opponent will make the shield brand new allowing the tolerance of the shield to be back to its original state.
Amount of chakra drained per post: 100

Okay. The issue here is; after 4 posts you're killing a Genin. You gotta remember, at 0 chakra you die without instant (within 1 post) medical treatment, and even then there's a chance of death if the medic is under A-rank. 100 chakra drain ONE TIME I can approve; but I'm extremely weary about approving something that would have a 100 per turn drain that has no cap.

Quote :
This gunbai has the ability by means of powerful sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle. This shield has the ability to block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind nature transformation. Same for for taijutsu and ninjutsu, since they are blocked normally and if any chakra is present in the attack it is also diffused into harmless wind. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. However tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu, two A ranked jutsu and one S ranked jutsu before being broken down. This shield cannot deflect any attacks it is solely for blocking attacks.
Chakra Cost: 100 chakra to activate shield.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.

This is getting better. You have a massive run-on sentence that's really hard to read and figure out that you need to fix. This wouldn't be a turn base chakra drain. It would proc each time you block a hit. That's the problem with a shield like this; unless you give up a chunk of chakra permanently to keep the shield running at all times, it's going to get extremely chakra taxing to use the way you want. In this case, you'd be paying double the cost of the jutsu that you block; so anywhere from 20 to over 100 chakra per time this shield is used depending on the jutsu, because some jutsu cost far more than the base amount to use.

^^^^ Since I raised the chakra cost per turn which i dont mind paying. its ok, ive made it able to stop a single S ranked jutsu as well

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The Gunbai is durable enough and can smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to their skin. The attacks themselves come out as beams of light in three inch wide ten foot long slashes. Marks will be left on the opponent if it is not healed.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.

One major thing. A-rank jutsu base cost is 25 chakra. You are seriously overestimating how much chakra stuff requires. How powerful of a slicing/concussive attack is this? 2nd degree burns over how much area around impact site?

edited. i described the actual beams coming out of the gunbai. dropped the chakra cost.^^^^^^


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This enhancement is purely as a defensive mechanism not for offense. If an attempt was made to touch the fan, the Gunbai will instinctively draw large amounts of chakra from the one who holds it. 100 Chakra per post, until the person passes out from exhaustion due to the heavy chakra drain. The chakra that was drawn from the opponent can be used only to strengthen the defensive shield The purpose is simply to stop anyone from using the Gunbai but its user. Works only if an opponent touches the weapon. The chakra once drained from an opponent will make the shield brand new allowing the tolerance of the shield to be back to its original state. The Gunbai does not have the ability to draw every drop of chakra from a person and leaves 1 chakra within them to keep them alive but barely and long enough to get treatment.
Amount of chakra drained per post: 100

Okay. The issue here is; after 4 posts you're killing a Genin. You gotta remember, at 0 chakra you die without instant (within 1 post) medical treatment, and even then there's a chance of death if the medic is under A-rank. 100 chakra drain ONE TIME I can approve; but I'm extremely weary about approving something that would have a 100 per turn drain that has no cap.

^^^ fixed. i placed a cap on the chakra drawing.

Bankai wrote:

Spoiler:

Name: Hiroaki [Wide Spacious Light]
Type: War Fan
Rank: A
Upgrade Slots:

Affinities: (Kōton - 光遁)

Description: A Gunbai (軍配, Gunbai, Literally meaning: army arrangement) is a non-folding fan, carved from an unique spirit sacred tree, this Gunbai is a honorary item, passed down from previous Misaki clansmen generations. It is a wide fan with tomoe on it and has a long handle with bandages wrapped around the base, as well as having a long chain attached to it. Attached to this chain is a kama that has the slicing ability to slice through stone.  the entire length of the gunbai, handle included, chain and kama excluded is six feet in length and at the wider parts its measurement is 4 feet in width and the narrower part on the gunbai is 3 feet in width. its thickness is two inches.

Enhancements: Enhancement 1: This gunbai has the ability by means of powerful sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle. This shield  has the ability to block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind nature transformation. Same for for taijutsu and ninjutsu, since they are blocked normally and if any chakra is present in the attack it is also diffused into harmless wind. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. However tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu, two A ranked jutsu and one S ranked jutsu before being broken down. This shield cannot deflect any attacks it is solely for blocking attacks.
Chakra Cost: 100 chakra to activate shield.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.

Enhancement 2: The Gunbai is durable enough and can smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, concussive or slicing attack with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to their skin. The attacks themselves come out as beams of light in three inch wide ten foot long slashes. Marks will be left on the opponent if it is not healed.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.
Range: 50 meters

Enhancement 3: This enhancement is purely as a defensive mechanism not for offense. If an attempt was made to touch the fan, the Gunbai will instinctively draw large amounts of chakra from the one who holds it. 100 Chakra per post, until the person passes out from exhaustion due to the heavy chakra drain. The chakra that was drawn from the opponent can be used only to strengthen the defensive shield The purpose is simply to stop anyone from using the Gunbai but its user. Works only if an opponent touches the weapon. The chakra once drained from an opponent will make the shield brand new allowing the tolerance of the shield to be back to its original state. The Gunbai does not have the ability to draw every drop of chakra from a person and leaves 1 chakra within them to keep them alive but barely and long enough to get treatment.
Amount of chakra drained per post: 100


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Enhancement 1: I know I've said this before; but a shield can't block abilities/weapons/physical strikes of a higher rank than itself. The Gunbai is A-rank. Unless you specify otherwise, the shield is treated as A-rank. However! If you remove the S-rank block, the numbers and ability of the shield as is are totally appropriate. The cost is extremely too high. You'd at MOST be charged double the cost of a jutsu activation per rank, so you'd be looking at costing D: 20, C: 30, B: 40, A: 50 chakra per trigger. You pay based on the rank of the ability/item/strike you're blocking, and you can only activate it ONCE per post.

Enhancement 2: If you're going to pay A-rank chakra costs for an A-rank jutsu, at least get your A-rank damage man. At A-rank, you're looking at:

Blunt force Damage: Guaranteed broken bones/ribs, massive bruising, internal bleeding, dislocation of large joints (Shoulders, etc), amputation of smaller joins (fingers/toes, possibly elbows or ankles)

Slashing/Cuttin Damage: Gashes up to 5 inches deep, can be stopped by bone unless user has physical spec (tai/ken/kyuu/WT) at which point they can slice through bone. Peirce up to 6 inches, cannot pierce entirely through larger bones such as the femur or through multiple layers of bone (Ribs + spine for example)

The cost and range are fine, for rank.

Enhancement 3: You cannot under ANY circumstances use chakra drained from another person to power your weapon in any manner. There is a standing ban against and and all chakra drain that functions in that manner. The chakra removed by this enhancement will be lost to both the original target and to you. It WILL be treated as basically a burn; the chakra is rendered unusable. I've already told you that have the drain be 100 chakra for more than one turn is basically not happening. Why hasn't this been changed? It doesn't matter that you cap the drain before it drains you dry; the problem is, after 1, MAYBE 2 posts of that heavy of a drain you're going to make the gunbai shatter. Weapons can't handle that much chakra passively flowing through them, especially with all the other chakra abilities it has that would have even more chakra in it at any given time. It would basically shatter in your hands the first turn it was used. Especially with how the enhancement is written, cause that drain would basically kick in if anyone so much as tried to block the gunbai by touching it with their hands or another chakra conductive weapon that's actually being used.

im hoping it should be fine now.

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Enhancements: Enhancement 1: This gunbai has the ability by means of powerful sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle. This shield  has the ability to block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind nature transformation. Same for for taijutsu and ninjutsu, since they are blocked normally and if any chakra is present in the attack it is also diffused into harmless wind. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user. However tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu, and two A ranked jutsu before being broken down. This shield cannot deflect any attacks it is solely for blocking attacks.
Chakra Cost: be charged double the cost of a jutsu activation per rank, so you'd be looking at costing D: 20, C: 30, B: 40, A: 50 chakra per trigger. You pay based on the rank of the ability/item/strike you're blocking, and can only be activated ONCE per post.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.

Don't just copy what I say. All you need for the chakra cost is the numbers. The activation part goes in the general enhancement description. Once more I point out that you need to seriously grammar check this. It's still very difficult to read and make sense of because you're missing punctuation and the sentences are run-ons or incomplete. Otherwise, you're getting there.

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Enhancement 2: The Gunbai is durable enough to smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, or can dish out Blunt force Damage: Guaranteed broken bones/ribs, massive bruising, internal bleeding, dislocation of large joints (Shoulders, etc), amputation of smaller joins (fingers/toes, possibly elbows or ankles) with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to their skin. The attacks themselves come out as beams of light in three inch wide ten foot long slashes. Marks will be left on the opponent if it is not healed.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.
Range: 50 meters

All I need is how much of an area receives the 2nd degree burns.

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Enhancement 3: This enhancement is purely as a defensive mechanism not for offense. If an attempt was made to touch the fan, by holding onto the Gunbai or the chain or kama, the Gunbai will instinctively detect a foreign chakra signature and draw large amounts of chakra from the one who holds it. This drain would not activate if the opponent tries to block attacks from the weapon itself. It drains 50 Chakra per post, until the person passes out from exhaustion due to the heavy chakra drain. The purpose is simply to stop anyone from using the Gunbai but its user. Works only if an opponent touches the weapon. The Gunbai does not have the ability to draw every drop of chakra from a person and leaves 1 chakra within them to keep them alive but barely and long enough to get treatment.
Amount of chakra drained per post: 50

I'm now perfectly happy with how this is written.

i did my best with the grammar. i now realized what you were saying. it was confusing. hope its at least better now

Quote :

This gunbai has the ability by means of powerful sealing jutsu to be used as a shield in battle. This shield has the ability to block all D ranked attacks by converting the incoming chakra from an opponent's jutsu to the user into Wind nature transformation. Same for Taijutsu and ninjutsu since they are blocked normally. If however any chakra is present in the attack weather it be ninjutsu, taijutsu or any offensive jutsu, the chakra of the attack is also diffused into harmless wind. The wind chakra that is generated from blocking oncoming attacks is simply dissipated into nothing and cannot be used by the user in any form whatsoever. The tolerance of the shield can take 6 C ranked jutsu, 4 B ranked jutsu, and two A ranked jutsu before the shield breaks down When this happens, the Gunbai can no longer diffuse the chakra within attacks and can only be used as a normal shield for physical attacks. Chakra cost is based on double the amount of a jutsu activation per rank. This can only be activated once per post.
Chakra Cost: For D rank: 20 chakra, C rank: 30 chakra, B rank: 40 chakra, A rank: 50 chakra per trigger.
Range: Arm length to where the Gunbai is used by the user to block attacks.

Okay, my only issue left here is that this is just insanely confusing to read. The numbers are right, the costs are right, this is just a clusterfuck of confusion. Instead of just adding more sentences to it; go back and rewrite it. Streamline it. The less over packed, the better.

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Enhancement 2: The Gunbai is durable enough to smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, or can dish out Blunt force Damage: Guaranteed broken bones/ribs, massive bruising, internal bleeding, dislocation of large joints (Shoulders, etc), amputation of smaller joins (fingers/toes, possibly elbows or ankles) with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu. However if a light attack is used, and it hits, then they will receive 2nd degree burns to their skin. The attacks themselves come out as beams of light in three inch wide, ten foot long slashes. Since the light slashes are ten feet in length then if it hits the opponent's body it will leave a mark on the body that is the same size in width of three inches of the slash itself but the entire length of the body would be hit by it depending on the condition of the battle of course. Marks will be left on the opponent if it is not healed by an A ranked healing jutsu.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.
Range: 50 meters

I didn't tell you to change this. I asked you how much of an area the 2nd degree burns covers. You could have easily just added a single line with the size/spread of the burns. Revert it to what it was, and add in the size of the burns.

yea made the changes

Bankai wrote:

Enhancement 2: Enhancement 2: The Gunbai is durable enough to smash through materials like tree roots, rocks and metal. Bankai can also channel his light chakra to create one that he can release a searingly hot, or can dish out Blunt force Damage: Guaranteed broken bones/ribs, massive bruising, internal bleeding, dislocation of large joints (Shoulders, etc), amputation of smaller joins (fingers/toes, possibly elbows or ankles) with a range of ten meters with a swing of the fan. The attacks with just the Gunbai are all A ranked and again, normal jutsu damage applies since its an A ranked jutsu however if a light attack is used and it hits then they will receive 2nd degree burns to the exposed areas of their body. The attacks themselves come out as beams of light in three inch wide ten foot long slashes. Marks will be left on the opponent of the same size as the beams if it is not healed.
Chakra Cost: 25 chakra per attack released.
Range: 50 meters

Okay, you already have a range for your attack: it says ten feet long. When Karukaya was asking for the area affected by the burns that meant not the range of the jutsu itself, but how much of the body is affected. How large of an area on the body is burned by this jutsu?

The range is ten meters long. I was told to make my measurements in meters. you just gave me an idea to make it so that any armor lower than A ranked would not hinder the damage to the attack.

As for the area that is affected, the opponent is struck with an arch shaped beam of light and if the opponent is struck by it, they will be hit by a ten foot long three inch wide light beam. The same length and thickness of the beam will appear as a dark scar on the opponent's body based on battle conditions. Meaning that if I attack them from behind and they are six foot five inches their entire body will be hit by it and of course battle conditions would determine where the slashes end up. But they will always be the same size.

^^^^ these are the changes i made. and i will put in the one line where the armor below A ranked will not hinder this attack in anyway.

Buying these Items:

Item: Barrier Tag (in a pack of five)
Rank: C-S Rank
Quantity: -Set-
Price: Variable, sold individually or in packs of 5
Description: These tags are special pieces of paper inscribed with the kanji to "tie" or "bind" (結, ketsu), which is short for the word "barrier" (結界, kekkai). The tag most likely forms a barrier to protect whatever is located within the perimeter it forms.[1] When these tags were used, shinobi were stationed above them which indicates that the technique might require maintaining. Barrier lasts for a maximum of 3 Posts. Can restrain a person or beast of equal or lower rank ONLY. Single tag creates a circular barrier 6 feet in diameter.
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Item: Rebreather
Rank: B
Quantity: 1
Price: 1000 ryo
Description:   Allows the owner to breath while underwater for a set amount of time. The small tank of this model allows for a total of 10 post before the oxygen tank is empty and the user begins to suffocate. At this point the apparatus becomes useless until the tank is refilled, or the thread ends. May pay 10 chakra and take 1 post to recharge the oxygen tank via wind chakra. However, the recharge only lasts for a maximum of 5 posts at a time before it must be recharged again.
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Item: Scroll
Rank: D
Quantity: -set-
Price: 100 Ryo each
Description: The scroll remains one of the most important pieces of equipment in a shinobi's arsenal for it's utility when combined with fuuinjutsu. When purchased the shinobi can choose to have something specific placed on the scroll ahead of time or left blank.
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Item: Flash Bomb
Rank: D
Quantity: -set-
Price: 150 Ryo each
Description: These small paper spheres release a blinding light when they detonate, useful for distractions or for creating shadows for jutsu that manipulate them.

Bankai wrote:

Buying these Items:

Item: Barrier Tag (in a pack of five)
Rank: C-S Rank
Quantity: -Set-
Price: Variable, sold individually or in packs of 5
Description: These tags are special pieces of paper inscribed with the kanji to "tie" or "bind" (結, ketsu), which is short for the word "barrier" (結界, kekkai). The tag most likely forms a barrier to protect whatever is located within the perimeter it forms.[1] When these tags were used, shinobi were stationed above them which indicates that the technique might require maintaining. Barrier lasts for a maximum of 3 Posts. Can restrain a person or beast of equal or lower rank ONLY. Single tag creates a circular barrier 6 feet in diameter.
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Item: Rebreather
Rank: B
Quantity: 1
Price: 1000 ryo
Description:   Allows the owner to breath while underwater for a set amount of time. The small tank of this model allows for a total of 10 post before the oxygen tank is empty and the user begins to suffocate. At this point the apparatus becomes useless until the tank is refilled, or the thread ends. May pay 10 chakra and take 1 post to recharge the oxygen tank via wind chakra. However, the recharge only lasts for a maximum of 5 posts at a time before it must be recharged again.
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Item: Fine Katana
Rank: B
Quantity: -set-
Price: 900 Ryo each
Description: This high quality katana, comprisoned of a core of Ferrite, and an edge of martensite, this blade has both a solid core and a potent cutting edge, and is vastly superior to it's rusty comrade. The katana averages 73 cm in length, or 28.5 inches.
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Item: Scroll
Rank: D
Quantity: -set-
Price: 100 Ryo each
Description: The scroll remains one of the most important pieces of equipment in a shinobi's arsenal for it's utility when combined with fuuinjutsu. When purchased the shinobi can choose to have something specific placed on the scroll ahead of time or left blank.
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Item: Flash Bomb
Rank: D
Quantity: -set-
Price: 150 Ryo each
Description: These small paper spheres release a blinding light when they detonate, useful for distractions or for creating shadows for jutsu that manipulate them.

How many barrier tags of each rank are you buying? When you buy the barrier tags, you have to state what rank of tag as well as how many you're buying, not just that you're buying a set.

One of each rank. Still waiting for the Gunbai to be finished.

Okay, so that you're not uninformed about the prices of the barrier tags per unit at each rank:

D 150 ryo
C 450 ryo
B 750 ryo
A 1150 ryo
S 1650 ryo

So one of each gives you 4150 total for just those 5 tags.

How many scrolls and flash bomb are you buying?

We've already told you that you can't have the Katana. Take it off the registry please.

I have removed the item from the list. The said 'fine katana.' I am aware of such things pertaining to the scrolls. I have adequate money to purchase such items. As for the other stated items, it is not clear at all as to the quantity since a 'set' could be any number. However based off the price for a set, I am guessing that a 'set' should really mean 1. If so, I will like to take five of each item.

The items I was talking about needing numbers for are those that, if you read the descriptions, tell you that they come either individually, or in batches/packs of x number for a higher price.

So you want 5 scrolls, 5 barrier tags (of what rank, I still ask), and 5 flash bombs, plus 1 rebreather? I want to make sure I have the right numbers here.